The Entire World is in an Abusive Relationship

The Entire World is in an Abusive Relationship and We Don’t Even Know it

Lenore E. Walkers “battered woman”, and the cycles experienced in abusive relationships can be compared to varying violent situations occurring worldwide. The patriarchy is the abuser, and the society experiencing multiple intersectional injustices, are the abused. The psychological effects of the “learned helplessness” that occurs within the battered women's’ relationships can be compared to the collective mental state of the world. These problems stem from deeper rooted systemic violence that is applicable across varying fronts.

Sebastian Jungers book Tribe focuses on homecoming and belonging of military personnel. What I’d like to focus on from this book is the underlying theme that human beings crave a purpose. Purpose gives people drive and feeds into their reward pathways. Sebastian Junger discusses how anxiety and depression have become a worldwide issue related to our lack of connection to one another. In a capitalistic society, driven by individual success, the likeliness of people feeling MORE connected, becomes less and less likely.

Social media is portrayed as a platform that allows you to feel more connected to one another. Information is so readily accessible and news is covered faster than ever before. People are turning to social media platforms to express themselves and look for validation. Due to the lack of purpose discussed by Junger, mixed with the lack of genuine human connection occuring, the world in a state of unhappiness. There is a never ending stream of information at people's fingertips that is being updated by the second. People end up participating in “slacktivism” instead of investing themselves in activism and attempting to create change. A prime example of this is the #BringBackOurGirls movement that was adopted by westernized societies. Due to geographic locations, and undertones of western imperialism, the true purpose of the movement was lost in translation. The kidnapping of all of these girls became broadcasted as a singular event instead of related to the bigger picture. The vast majority of people settled for simply posting a picture with the hashtag Bring Back Our Girls, and then the issue was swept into the pile of other worldwide tragedies occurring. This is becoming to new social norm when these kinds of tragedies strike. Social media provides people with a quick feelings of solidarity, but there are still deeply rooted feelings of helplessness with these situations that are festering. This becomes similar to the “Learned Helplessness” that Walker discusses, and can be compared to how people are feeling today.

The patriarchy, and all of its interconnected influences and systems, represents the abuser in this global relationship. Similar to the “Battered Woman”, there is a warped idea that simply accepting the situation will reap some type of benefit. The benefits could be financial security, shelter, or food that prevent people from leaving or pushing back. Due to the similar feelings of “learned helplessness” that Walker discusses, people have begun to turn to social media. People have also begun to ignore the issues entirely for a false sense of relief.

These acts of violence are not singular instances, they are mimicking the abusive relationship cycle. They are the cycles that Walker discusses in The Battered Woman when she states, “These are: the tension-building phase; the explosive or acute battering incident; and the calm, loving respite” (pg.54). A Cab Driver committed suicide in the past week. The reasoning behind this was related to his financial struggles brought on by the lack of business he was experiencing. Similar to #BringBackOurGirls, this is just another example of how people are feeling helpless and attempting to take matters into their own hands. This man begun to feel a lack of purpose and lack of control in his own life. These situations of unrest are not unrelated, and are all boiling up during tension-building phases. Eventually this erupts within an individual or group, and the explosive phase strikes. The world is horrified by this. The news (patriarchal driven) is quick to make it seem like a singular act. The loving respite phase comes when people do fundraising, or make their social media posts in some attempt of solidarity. These loving respite phases are becoming shorter. This is because the biggest issue is that these tragedies happen so frequently that people have become numb to them. While the scenarios may vary, the parallels must be acknowledged. We as a society, are allowing ourselves to be in a battered relationship brought on by the patriarchal constructs.  

Works Cited

Walker, Lenore E. The Battered Woman. Harper & Row Publishing. New York,

Hagerstown, SAn Francisco, London. 1979. Pages 43-77.