Masculinity for Everyone

Masculinity has long been the subject of criticism in queer circles, but rarely is it fully dissected, and oftentimes masculinity is ascribed to "maleness." Perhaps it's the fault of the English language that this becomes difficult to understand, but masculinity is not equivalent to maleness, but rather, refers to a style of power and behavior (both conducive to violence) that have become expected of men through centuries (more often only decades) of societal reinforcement. In short- most violence can be chalked up to masculinity, so is it any surprise that the united states military, one guilty of extreme violence is also rife with internal sexual violence.

When Aaron Belkin writes "Spam Filter: Gay Rights and the Normalization of Male-Male Rape in the U.S. Military" he tackles some very important issues: 1. Male on male rape exists in the U.S. Military

2. It happens a lot
3. Gay men are targeted
4. It is extremely under reported

Perhaps it is for the purpose of having his work published, but Belkin does the bare minimum of critiquing the military as an inherently violent institution, which may lead to the consideration that a violent institution will perpetuate violence within itself and against, generally, anyone. Our military exists as a monument to economic waste and glorified masculinity today. Where communication can happen in seconds and there are more than enough resources to meet the world's needs, it seems silly to maintain a large military (or downright wrong, you decide). Militaries glorify ownership, strength, and above all, dominance. Let's consider these the core tenets of masculinity as we continue.

So if masculinity isn't exclusive to maleness what does that mean to everyone else? It means that violence, particularly sexual violence, can be perpetrated by anyone. It means that everyone is at risk to be a victim to someone that feels entitled to power or the drive to dominate others. When same-gender partners find violence present between them it is masculine. Physical abuse clearly fits the bill, while things like emotional abuse are more difficult to decode: silence (as a weapon), insults, even threats of suicide are all deployed to the same end; control.

Now, if you find yourself feeling particularly contrarian, you might be saying, "oh, so femininity is the answer then?" likely scoffing at the notion that it's as simple as that. Yes, and no. Femininity is not a polar opposite of masculinity that can be deployed for a peaceful world, because much like masculinity being a collection of social iterations, femininity is the same! Rather than looking at -ity's or -ism's as guidelines of behavior, it may be more constructive to make an effort to care for other people because they are people and not because you need to be a "nurturing woman" or "protective man." I guess it's fair to say I think gender is bullshit, but more specifically, upholding gender in any moment is particularly harmful.

To return to the military and sexual assault - the military now allows openly gay (more inclusive identities are extremely iffy) people to serve. Women are allowed to serve. Neither of these are victories. I've met many queer people (almost exclusively gay men) that celebrate the repeal of Don't Ask Don't Tell as a victory (for who?). Allowing more people to join the business of killing or maintaining order (in the most fascist sense of the words; order should not require armed soldiers to maintain)is not exactly a victory. This isn't exclusive to the United States, either - the militaries of every country have historically at many points been used to do frankly awful things to civilians. And it isn't human nature.

I have never found a phrase that makes people more mad at me than "violence isn't human nature." I won't dignify this by trying to disprove it, but rather offer that masculine values of violence and dominance are socially constructed and inherited (forcibly or voluntarily) and do not aid in survival for humans (or human adjacent animals.).

Masculinity does not have a place in the modern world. Schools of thought that glorify dominance over other people, over their belongings, and over land (I could discourse about the last one forever) are and will always be inherently harmful, primarily to the people that they affect, but also to the societies they are attached to. The united states has an epidemic of violence on all levels, civilian, state, and military, and will continue to hurt and kill many until certain values are confronted. Those values are, you guessed it, all masculinity.