Children are the future right? So,
why wouldn't we arm them with the best tools and knowledge possible to make our
world a better place?
In the
New Yorker article by Ariel Levy, there is a prominent theme of parenting
throughout the piece. A few statements in this article seem to point to the
lack of good parenting as part of the cause for the sexual assault and complete
lack of respect for the woman involved. One response in particular from
Alexandria Goddard was, "Be mad at the
parents who didn't tell their [boys] that you should not have sex with an
impaired girl. Tell your kids, 'When shit's going down, don't stand there and
take pictures'" (Levy, 2013). In this case, I feel like this whole
situation could have not happened if the parents of these men had a more
prominent and positive role in their lives. If these parents had just told
their children, it is not okay to have sex with an unconscious female or that
it is not okay to let someone else do it and record it, this whole situation
could have been avoided.
If a child is receiving positive
parenting on how to treat individuals, cases such as sexual assault
could become less frequent. Good parenting starts with teaching
your children what is right and what is wrong, either directly or
indirectly. Margaret
Jacobsen wrote a piece on Romper about her parenting techniques after
having experienced sexual assault. One situation she writes about is how she allows her children to tell her no when
she asks for hugs or kisses. She writes, "I used to make sad faces and
whine to them about it so they'd give in, but I realized that that kind of
behavior isn't one I want to encourage. If they don't want to give me something
I'm asking for, they're entitled to that. And in turn, I respect and validate
their choices" (Jacobsen, 2016). I have seen parents act like this with their children and have never given it a second thought. Jacobsen makes a very good point that this seemingly normal interaction between parent and child promotes very dangerous behavior. By allowing her children to say no to this, Jacobsen is teaching them consent.
Having an open and honest
discussion with your children about how they experience their world is
important as well as establishing what's right and what's wrong. Personally, I
believe I may have experienced a more positive relationship with my parents if I had felt like I could
go to them with anything. For me, I felt like I couldn't go to them with certain things because I would be judged or would get into trouble for
something. If these children do not have anyone to go to with things as big as
sexual abuse the ramifications of that could be horrible. These types of things
are not meant to be bottled up and if they are not discussed with someone close
to the individual these feelings could leave lasting and negative effects on them.
I have thought about how I might
raise my children if I decide to have kids quite a bit. In this world where
women are slowly making some positive strides towards equality, I do not want
to see that fall apart because of how this generation is raising their
children. I personally will make sure my children know they can come and talk
to me about anything and I will support them 100%. I will make sure my kids
know that things like sexual assault and abuse are not okay and they should
never feel ashamed if they ever experience these things. I will make sure they
know the appropriate ways to treat women and men alike and that is never ever
okay to push someone to do want they want them to do.
Of course, things like sexual
assault do not have one sole cause and good parenting will not be the only
thing to stop them. But, it is a good first step. Not everyone is perfect, so we
will mess up from time to time in trying to ensure that our children get the
right message about this world. The most important thing is that we keep
reinforcing the idea that everyone is human and no one deserves any injustice.
Our children are the future and
they will be carrying on after we are gone. If we want this world to be
peaceful even after we are gone we need to make sure we leave this world with a
stronger ideal of what it means to be woman or man. Good parenting is essential in
making sure the world remains a better place.
References
Jacobsen, M. (Apr 13 2016). I Am A Sexual Assault Survivor
& This Is How It Affects My Parenting. Romper. Retrieved
from https://www.romper.com/p/i-am-a-sexual-assault-survivor-this-is-how-it-affects-my-parenting-8249
Levy, A. (Aug 5 2013). Trial By Twitter. The New
Yorker. Retrieved from https://www.newyorker.com/magazine/2013/08/05/trial-by-twitter?currentPage=all
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